Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Blog 2 "Chapter 2: Fire on the Mountain (Revision)"

When the fire on the mountain we had made warped and became fire and was surrounding the entire island. I felt very scornfully when Jack yelled at me, it wasn’t my fault because I hadn't done anything and already jack was yelling at me and everyone was staring at me. I hated being stared. Everybody already knew the dreadful name I didn't want to be called and know I'm going to be called that way for a long time. By the time I was at in the forest the tumult of little children that were on the mountain was over. I was nimble once everyone came back from the mountain and found out that the fire was burning and was having smoke come up from the Volcano. Sometimes I felt Jack felt very irresistible once he had the power to be at Ralps side since he was the chief. When I wanted to state my perspective of this incident that had occurred everyone turned to look at me as if I was the person in charge of having the fire on the mountain, my idea. I bet Ralph inside was officious about me telling him that I kept having the conch and that I wanted to speak. I know that Jack doesn't like me but he really should give me a chance, I mean he just judges me by my name. I knew I should have never told Ralph the name I had always hated being called. But I know that one day something will happen, because I haven't shown the other side of me. I don’t blame everything on Jack or Ralph or even the little children. But the problem is that Jack doesn’t like me, Ralph wants to look good with everyone and doesn’t give me a chance to explain, everything I try to say. They just look at me because of what I look like and what they call me, I bet if they called me a different name I might be known as someone better. But most of the time I have to be called Piggy. I think that sometimes my real friends are the little children, because they are the first ones I met and they like me for who I am. I think that sometimes Ralph can help me with the situation that I am in; I think he should take actions for his own responsibilities if only I can try to have him think like I do. I also think that Jack should try to help other people other than his choir group, I also thought about ho he named his troops hunters and the little children don’t get a name. I mean not like they know they can have one I’m just saying what if they do want one. I think it would be nice if they did. When I think about how Ralph as a leader isn’t really doing much it makes me think about how his leadership in this island as chief doesn’t fit the guy that I met in the forest before he even blew the conch.

2 comments:

Emma Christenfeld said...

Karen-
Can you capitalize the "i"s? Cna you do a little spelling checking? Also, I want to know which words are the vocabulary words so can you do something to make them stand out? Great job, I can really see what Piggy is thinking and feeling.
-Emma

Mr. Shaddox said...

Karen,

You did a great job of capturing the action of this chapter, however, there was no volcano in chapter 2.

REVISION:
Reread chapter 2 and investigate what really happened. Rewrite the introduction to this journal with the correct information:

"When the volcano erupted it warped and became fire and was surrounding the entire island. I felt very scornfully when Jack yelled at me, it wasn’t my fault because I hadn't done anything and already jack was yelling at me and everyone was staring at me. I hated being stared. Everybody already knew the dreadful name I didn't want to be called and know I'm going to be called that way for a long time. By the time I was at in the forest the tumult of little children that were on the mountain was over. I was nimble once everyone came back from the mountain and found out that the fire was burning and was having smoke come up from the Volcano. "

thanks,
Mr. Shaddox